7 lessons I am learning in real time post surgery

Here are some lessons I am learning, with my most recent surgery to remove a mass in my abdomen. With my cancer history, this is always a very scary thing.  I don't want to stay down, when life hits with this kind of force, but I do want to pause, learn, and here I am sharing the experience during the thick of it.  When I am still trying to overcome the challenges. I want to come out of this with better purpose and perspective. I hope by being vulnerable (also scary for me) and sharing, you or one of your friends can learn the lessons without physically going through the same challenges/pain/struggles. So here it is, the lessons I am being made aware of and trying to learn from right now in real (still raw) time:

1. Listen to my body or else...I have known in my gut (isn't that ironic) that I was trying to do too much for a while now.  That in order to be my best, I need more rest and less stress I put on myself! My body showed me with pain when I first noticed that tumor in my belly, but I wrote off the pain with a different cause.  The pain quieted while the tests, doctors visits increased. Then the pain came back and became louder and louder until removing the mass was expedited.  My body and gut was trying to talk to me...I hope I have learned my lesson for the last time to listen better.  I am always coaching in workouts to listen to your body...but at the same time challenge yourself within your performance window where we stand today.  I am learning to take a big picture approach to this training technique too.
2. Embrace my current state and make the best of it.  I am going to be brutally honest here, when I am restricted from movement, what I see as "forward progress" and the like; I get very frustrated! The kind of frustration that brings you down to dark alleys of "giving up" on some of the stuff that means the most to me. What I am learning (albeit slowly), is embracing the current state of what my body can do (and making the best of it) is so much better than fighting it!  An example that turned out awesome this past week, went like this: the current state of my body and recovery on the 4th of July was limited to 1 bout of activity (more than laying on the couch) a day.  I had it in my head to save it for going to the fireworks with my family.  However, I realized the state of my body and the state of my family in the present circumstances that even going to the fireworks may be a stretch. In the end, we did the kids' bedtime routine, put Brady to bed, and then went outside in our PJs and did sparklers with Addison in our backyard. She LOVED it, and has been talking about it ever since!  I am challenged to have more victories like this. Victories that keep the current state of me and/or my family at the forefront and make amazing memories out of moments that would otherwise be missed.
3. My energy and time is always finite, so I choose to narrow my focus.  I have always been driven and told often that I have a ton of energy.  I have successfully worked all-nighters in college and beyond now in my career and family responsibilities.  I cognitively know that my energy and time is finite, but I'm scared to admit this to myself. As I recover from this last surgery, the fact that I have limited resources of energy, time, is all around me.  It's crazy that just a few days before surgery I could rock out two-a-day Monday and do a HIIT workout no problem.  Currently I can feel the limits, and have to choose whether I will walk around OR get in and out of the car a couple times.  Just a few days ago I had the limit of 5-10 minutes looking at words on a screen before I experienced terrible double vision.  These are all HARSH reminders that there are limits and the limits change depending on circumstances too.  I choose to continue to learn to be empowered and use the best of my energy and time by increasing my focus. I will consciously make the hard decisions that divvy up my time and energy.  This is a hard lesson that I am in the trenches, trying to improve on.
4. I can only control so much, but I can always control how I react. If you look at the risk factors of thyroid cancer, which I was diagnosed with and began my battle in September 2014, I would get an A+ in anything that I could actually control.  But you know what, I still had metastasized Thyroid cancer that had taken over the lymph nodes and my thyroid of the entire right side of my neck all the way up to my ear. I had done everything "right" to avoid this type of cancer and no one in my family had/has it either, but I still got it. I could not control the diagnosis. But I can control my reaction to anything that happens to me. This is so much easier said than done!  Believe me, a part of me after this last surgery just wants to crawl in a hole and feel sorry for myself. A part of me wants to dwell on- as well as I treat and take care of my body it doesn't matter- the same outcomes will occur.  But even as I type this and put words to it, I know that is BS! I am learning to accept what I cannot control, and take my focus to my reaction.
5. Make goals I can get in the game for.  I am excited to practice this principle and coach Fitness Inspirers to practice this too with our goal setting this month in boot camp. How I am reminded of this from where I sit right now is this: from a workout perspective I am not on the field I normally play on to say the least.  I am very restricted on what I can do movement-wise.  It would therefore be very unwise of me to make a goal this month about working out. Instead I will make goals, I can get in the game for...like food plan goals and/or mindset goals and/or real rest goals.  Those are all examples of goals I can get in the game for.  I hope this inspires you to think about your goals in a new empowered way too.
6. Real rest is so hard, but it is worth the effort. Rest is not the absence of effort; but it's focusing your effort on what will renew, heal, give you the space to grow. This most definitely takes conscious effort. Have you ever tried to meditate before? It looks and sounds so easy but it takes REAL effort to do. I am learning to view rest, as taking as much effort as training does. It's a different kind of effort for sure, but its just as hard or harder.  Anyone joining me in the practice of real rest?
7. Timing is NEVER ideal, but if it is important I will do it anyway.  I was incredibly annoyed that I was going to have to miss a wedding, miss a Spike's game that I was promoting my business at, and miss the last 2 workouts with some Fitness Inspired kids too. One of the biggest timing issues on my heart was that I wouldn't be able to lift or carry Brady (my almost 17 month old). I could find a bunch more reasons the timing wasn't ideal to have this surgery right now.  But it had to be done, and so I went ahead and we did it anyway. Not to mention, my body was really talking to me at this point (see Lesson #1) haha!

Bonus: There will always be things I have to and get to live with. I will strive to be thankful in any circumstance. Perspective is so huge in the grand scheme of things. My anesthesiologist for this surgery, really made me remember this.  Some of his pre-surgery questions brought up complications I had as a result of my cancer surgeries and treatments.  And he said very frankly after a host of questions, "Sure beats the alternative." I wasn't really sure what he was referring to exactly or what "alternative" he meant.  The next few words clarified that he meant I was HERE and able to raise my young kids with Ethan (who was currently sitting by my bedside). I want to leave a legacy with my family, with Fitness Inspired, and with my passion to make a positive impact! I want to be thankful and make the best of all the time I am given! 

Whatever challenge you are dealing with right now...First of all, I am sorry you are dealing with it! I know it really sucks. Take some time to really feel the weight of it, but I hope you choose to not stay there.  We all have a precious finite and unknown amount of TIME.  Let's go make the best of it!