Still Healing & Learning (5 more lessons I am learning post-surgery)

Alrighty, I have been wanting to share more lessons I am still walking through for a while now. My hope is that they may help people, and I don't want to forget myself and have to re-learn these lessons on repeat like some 51st dates movie turned psychological thriller!

I have always been a mind-over-matter, sprint through any hardship in my life kind-of- girl. This served me well in some situations and I think there is a place for holding onto whatever mantra that will keep you fighting for your life, family, business or whatever it might be for you. To be clear, I am not saying that I think we should roll over and quit either. But here's me learning (yes slowly and at times resistantly) to fight for a great life and world AND listen to what my body and God are trying to tell me to make this journey better! I have been forced to slow my pace and it is turning out to be exactly what I need to learn and grow. Okay so in no particular order, my current lessons, and I hope this is exactly what you or a friend might need today:
Lesson 1.0: I still believe and know we (You and me) can do anything we set our minds to....but not alone, without tons of support, and trade offs for our time, energy, money, attention. This lesson is not me raising my hand after you told me your dream and saying why your dream will not work.

Instead I hope you hear me being the woman who stopped the elevator and looked into my eyes after hearing my dream at that conference and said "You go girl!" (Side Note: can we vow to lift each other up in business and life?) I believe I can and YOU can do anything. You really can!

But, I am learning that I need to make a conscious choice to: 1) surround myself with great people to foster a healthy support network and it's okay to need help 2) get through my stubborn head, that I have finite resources (i.e. time and energy) and I need to be selective with what I can/will do!

I can do anything, but I am determined to learn to decide with great weight what I will do. So I hope you feel empowered knowing you get to choose what you go for in life.

Accomplishing big dreams takes big belief, support, and focus to prioritize your goal(s). I hope I can be like the woman who stopped me before getting on the elevator at that woman in business conference and said "You Go Girl!" And can I  also to  add go get and be a support person, hire coaches, and listen to what your gut and lessons are telling you.

Lesson 2.0: I am still a hard-worker if I protect and focus my resources. I am actually smarter and more effective when I do this. Once again, I am all about hard-work and pushing through barriers with determination and perseverance. I hope I do as great of a job teaching my kids and the students I work with as my dad and coaches did for me.

My lesson right now is choosing what I will use my energy for today and letting myself off the hook on other things. I have trained by body to push through some temporary "pain" to get to the reward that the hard work is intended for. But I know pushing past this healing and recovery wall, will not be good for me and may send me to "rest" unwillingly for longer and more extreme measures. I don't want to forget this feeling. Because there is something about this physical occurrence to downsize my to do list, that has helped me to be better at choosing what is truly important. When my will has wanted me to push through the wall so many times I have finally arrived at the realization that "If I'm not here I can't do ANY of this anyway." 

Lesson 3.0: I am now looking for the really cool blessings that are right in front of me, that only were made possible by a hardship or inconvenience. For example, I found a space, mentor, friends, and landlord when I threw my back out when I was pregnant and brand new to town. Not only am I learning to take the time to see what the lesson is in hardships, but also I am looking for the opportunities and blessings that are right in front of me. This current hardship has born an idea, a need, that I was able to see that is going to end up helping tons of people--I can feel it--in a very meaningful way

Lesson 4.0: No matter how hard I try, I'm going to screw up and let people down! This may be an obvious one that most people learned much sooner, but if you are like me, maybe you still need to come to terms with this as well.

I work so hard to take care of my family, my clients, and my friends, but I will screw up no matter how hard I try. Right after this last surgery was my sister's birthday-- do you think I called or even texted her on her actual birthday--nope! A few days after her birthday was my husband's birthday, who had to stay home from work not to celebrate, but to take care of his wife who couldn't even pick up her baby.

This breaks my heart when I can't be together enough to take care of these hugely important things and people. This still is very hard for me and I'm trying to think of the lessons I need to learn from this... I guess, maybe it is to give out tons of grace to others and not to assume EVER that someone who I think "has let me down" has anything to do with me or what they think of me. Just like when I let down my sister and husband on their birthday's of all days, it had nothing to do with them or my love for them and everything to do with trying to get through the day when I didn't even know what day it was.

Lesson 5.0: Everyone has their shit they are dealing with. And to get over myself and stop thinking people are judging me. So I went into my surgery with my abs looking pretty good and came out with me looking like I was 5 months pregnant the next day. Okay I know this sounds super vain, and yes this is part of my lesson of loosening up on my standard for myself and knowing that no one else cares if my abs look amazing or not. 

Because of what I do for a living, I sometimes feel like my physical appearance, and yes even my abs are a testament to how good at my job I am. Which is B.S really. I can still make a huge impact on my clients' lives improving a whole lot more than just their abs, whether I have flawless abs or not.

Last thing on this one, I want you to remember when you are thinking about not doing something that normally would bring you joy. When you are worried about your "shit" you are dealing with and/or if people will judge you is...everyone has their own stuff they are dealing with and to do it anyway.

A few weeks after surgery, a friend invited me to come hang out for a little girls' night. I didn't want to go because I was worried about my body/weight that she would judge. I was also worried about how "fragile" I felt after getting some results back and not coping very well with my very restricted physical state. I was worried I would embarrass myself because of one or both of these reasons. And I was still just so incredibly tired as my body worked around the clock to heal.

I am so thankful with some nudging from my husband, that I went anyway. And as I sat, with a couple of amazing women who I haven't hung out with in a while I realized-- absolutely everyone is dealing with something whether you know what it is or not and even if these ladies were less awesome than they are and more judgmental they probably wouldn't have cared or noticed my insecurities.

So I encourage you, even if you don't feel ready, or you are scared you will be judged, or whatever it is for you that is holding you back to experience joy...do it anyway! You will look back and be so thankful you did!

Thank you for your encouragement and support as I realized me being super vulnerable in my last post ( "7 lessons I am learning in real-time post surgery") was helpful and encouraging to many of you! Also, I am a teacher and coach at heart always, and so I always learn lessons better when I can share with others. Thank you for letting me do that. And lastly I hope by me "putting it out there" during the thick of it, will help you realize that you don't have to have it all "figured out" to start, to learn, to heal, and be better. Thank you for helping me in the healing process that goes beyond the physical ailment. I hope you will be supported, encouraged, and inspired by these lessons in your own life. And here's to YOU in your journey!